I am bridezilla, hear me roar.

Spewing flames that scorch the earth!

A monster of mass destruction!

Civilization crumbles as its death rays blast a city of 6 million from the face of the earth!

It's coming this way... BRIDEZILLA!

how i imagine people think of me.

The number one thing I get asked when people find out I photograph weddings is, "What's it like dealing with all the Bridezillas?"

When I try to honestly tell them that I don't really have any horror stories, they seem so surprised. Trust me, if my clients were like those reality show bridezillas I probably would've quit this business a long time ago.

I think when someone hears "wedding" they automatically think the bride is crazy. And that's just not fair. I never thought the word "Bridezilla" would be directed at me (me? I'm so not going to flip a table over napkin colors). That is, I didn't think the word applied to me until I had that ring on my finger, and I started being accused of 'zilla-ing* just because I was saying "no" to suggestions and other people's vision that differed from what I knew I wanted.

(*Zilla-ing: A new dance move like dabbing, but with more fire and fury).

I have been in the wedding industry for several years now. I have seen just about every type of wedding with every type of bride. Do you know how many Bridezillas I have actually encountered? One. ONE. 

You know what monster is way more common at weddings than a bridezilla? The mom-zilla. The sister-zilla. The random-guest-you-didn't-invite-zilla. There are even vendor-zillas out there.

There is a 'Zilla at every wedding, and most times it isn't the bride.

I have never in my life had so many people give me unsolicited advice than I have while planning my wedding, or tell me something I NEEDED to do, or questioned my thought process or choices I made.

Allow me to kindly suggest where you can stick this bouquet of flowers if you tell me one more thing I "need" to do.

Everyone is an expert at wedding planning, apparently, and I never knew it until I got engaged.

Bridezillas are created when a bride-to-be is forced to put their foot down after a sea of opinions, inane comments, and such gems as:

"My wedding was perfect, so you should do it like that, too."

"What do you mean you don't have wedding colors? What will your guests take away from the day?"

"You're not having a priest marry you? Will it even be legal?"

"Why aren't you getting a spray tan?"

"Why can't your sister wear white? Don't you want her to feel special?"

"You're having food trucks? Well, your guests are going to hate that."

Not to mention the countless brides who I know experience people (strangers, even!) who comment on their weight, diet, etc because "You have a dress to fit into!" (I mean, does being engaged come with a "Please be rude to me!" sign around our necks?)

Let's be real: planning a wedding is STRESSFUL. There are so many decisions that go into wedding planning. Most of us are doing this for the first time ever (and hopefully the last time ever!). Many brides (like me) are already doing most of the decision making and planning work alone. I know this because I'm in several wedding planning groups on Facebook and all the complaints go to the same place:

"My bridesmaids are unreliable."

"My fiancé doesn't care about anything but the food."

"My future mother in law invited 45 guests we don't know."

Now, combine that stress with everyone (and I mean everyone you interact with who knows you are getting married) with a favorite ice-breaker anyone who hasn't seen you in the past week asks, "How's the planning going?" 

Ask me again how the planning is going.

How does one answer this question, exactly? What would you like to hear? I genuinely want to know. I could be honest and say, "It's stressful as hell, and everyone hates my ideas!" or I could smile and lie and say, "I love planning weddings and I wish I could do this again and again!" (God bless wedding planners).

So, next time you encounter a soon-to-be bride, please be considerate. Don't talk about her weight or her diet (a good rule of thumb is it's ALWAYS rude to ask anyone about their weight), don't try and give her your opinion unless she asks for it, and don't offer to help her and then not help when she takes you up on it. 

Don't add to the stress she already is experiencing. Otherwise,

if you wake the Bridezilla, it's probably your fault.

love and kisses,

Bridezilla Brodley

How I Found My "Niche"

I wasn't ever one of those artists that had an exact career trajectory. I knew what I liked and I knew what I didn't like, but I never said to myself, "I know I want to be a ____." I didn't even know for sure if I wanted to be a photographer at all. I kind of just thought being a photographer sounded cool.

When I was in school, I was really into studio fashion work and portraiture. My senior thesis project was based around a fictional world of characters from songs by the Beatles, such as Eleanor Rigby, Lady Madonna, and the Taxman. I did everything from the makeup to the lighting.

And I loved it.

"Taxman" 2008

When I started shooting weddings in 2012, I thought this love of fantasy would turn into me attracting couples that only did theme weddings, which is so niche I didn't even know where to start marketing to those cool people.

So instead, I started to encourage my friends to play dress up. And by "encourage" I really mean "force." I knew I needed a portfolio to reflect the type of photos I wanted to eventually be paid to take.

The first mock engagement session I ever did was a play off the movie Moonrise Kingdom. The movie had just come out at that point, so the idea was still new and exciting (but now, I think I've seen a million Moonrise Kingdom engagement sessions).

I swear this was original in 2012

Now I know that these types of "mock sessions" are really just called "styled shoots" in the industry.

Once I started getting busier, my clients began looking to me for suggestions on what to do for their engagement session. Honestly, I just wanted them to have fun. And I wanted to have fun, too. I knew my job would get really tedious really quickly if every shoot had the same prom poses with the same location.

And then it clicked.

Everyone is unique in their own way, right? Maybe my clients  don't like playing dress up, but there is certainly at least SOMETHING they like to do. Maybe they don't normally go to parks and hold hands and do corny things while skipping through the grass into the sunset. I honestly don't know if I'd want to meet the person that does this in their spare time.

So I started to telling my clients, when it comes to planning your engagement session:

I was open to any and all suggestions. No idea was too weird.

Then, it happened. One of my couples loved the idea of doing something that was totally "them." They didn't want to gaze into each other's eyes on the beach at sunset. They didn't want sunset at all, they wanted to get tattoos together at night.

They still gazed into each other's eyes, though. It was an engagement session, after all.

That shoot was challenging and fun, from figuring out the lighting to getting to know my clients, (who are now dear friends of mine and just had their first baby!).

I was hooked. And thus began my career-long obsession with doing anything my couple felt would be "fun." 

I photographed couples going on perfect dates. I started working with props.

I went on a road trip all the way up the coast to Big Sur.

And on our way home we stopped at In n' Out.

Some couples really went all in.

...while others chose to stay at home and make s'mores.

And these two just wanted to embrace in the snack aisle.

That's the most romantic place I know, too.

It's really rare that engagement sessions get published anywhere. Weddings are where it's at. No one wants to see 20 photos of people who they don't know making out, they just want to know about the things. So trust me, I'm literally only doing these because I think they are fun for everyone and they help me really get to know the people I work with. 

So, there you have it. My niche. I have no idea how it will look 5 years from now, but I know I'm going to meet a ton of people with incredible imaginations and I'll have a lot of fun along the way.

And I can still play dress up whenever I want to.

5 Ways to Get Kids to Smile during family photo sessions

Maybe I should preface this entire post with this disclaimer: I do not have children of my own. But I have been around a lot of children, I am not afraid of children, and once I even was a child myself. And as a child, I vividly remember my mother begging me to take a photo for her Christmas cards every year. And I remember how much I hated every second of it.

Now that I'm an adult who forces children who are not my own to smile for photos regularly, I have a little more insight from the other side of the camera. I know how hard it is to work with kids of all ages. Sometimes getting smiles is like pulling teeth.

Here are some of the ways I get kids to have fun during photo sessions:

1. Be absurd.

Photographing kids means not being afraid of embarrassing yourself in public. It's hard to get reactions from newborns and babies, especially since they can't really take direction yet. Most newborns can't even focus their own eyes (man, kids can't do anything for themselves these days. Millenials, amirite?)

But I've learned that the majority of kids LOVE sounds. The weirder, the better. Pretend you're a duck. Now pretend you're an airplane. Now make whatever sounds a squirrel makes. Now make a farting sound. Now pretend like you're a monkey. DANCE MONKEY, DANCE.

(Not a session with kids, but I keep it animated no matter what.)

2. Bring their favorite toy.

Distraction is the key with any kid under 4. If they have a favorite toy, let them play with it or hold it during the session. It brings an added sense of comfort, especially for shy kids.

3. Don't be afraid to take breaks.

Hanger is a real thing. This may be the most important tip of all time: make sure your kid is well rested and fed before the photo session. And bring snacks with you. It's OK to take 5 minutes to have a snack, or change an outfit. For a lot of kids, these tiny breaks do so much to help their mood and attention.

So if this means scheduling the photo session right after nap time, so be it. I'd much rather the kid be in a good mood than it be the right lighting situation. Photographers can always work around the light. Yes, some light is more desirable than others, but when it comes to photographing kids all bets are off. You worry about the time when your kid is happiest, let your photographer worry about the location and lighting.

Don't schedule the session right before dinner and hope your kids will be patient. They won't. 

4. Make poses into games.

If you have ever had a family session with me you know I'm down to play a mad game of peek-a-boo. Or, a sing along. Or I'll ask older kids to run up and squeeze mom or dad as tight as possibly can. Then I pretend to chase them. Then I tell everyone to take turns tickling each other. Then I tell them to dance. I SAID DANCE.

5. Be ok with imperfection.

I think this one is the number one thing parents worry about before photo sessions with their kids. It's a bigger concern than outfit choice (seriously). And I can't tell you how many sessions end with one parent saying to me, "I hope you at least got ONE good one!" (spoiler alert: I did).

Here are my promises: You are going to feel like your session was insane. You will literally feel like it was pure chaos and you will wonder how all the other parents get such well behaved children and why today was the day your angel baby chose to turn into Satan's minion. You will feel so many emotions, friend. But breathe. It's ok. A good family photographer should be able to get something wonderful, even if it's not everyone smiling and looking at the camera at the same time. 

I hope these tips help!

xo,

Casey

the best business (and life) advice i ever got... from michael phelps

Olympian Michael Phelps to date has 28 medals, 23 of which are gold medals. He is not a business owner. But I recently heard a story about why Phelps is so consistently successful, and it has become the single most helpful piece of advice that I bring with me (along with my camera bag) to every gig.

Everyone has heard of "The Secret," right? If you can believe in it, you can do it? Well, whoever wrote that crap should've talked to Michael Phelps. This is the real "secret":

The key to success isn't visualizing what should go right. The key to success is visualizing what could go wrong, and having a plan of action.

Michael Phelps trains every day. He's an Olympian, duh. But you see, all Olympians practice. Nothing about practicing makes Michael Phelps special or different from any other athlete. The difference is Michael Phelps takes his practice to the next level. He uses visualization techniques before, during, and after practice. He visualizes the perfect race. He visualizes how it feels if everything goes right.

And then he starts to visualize things going wrong.

One of these visualizations included a common issue that swimmers face: goggles filling with water. I swam competitively in high school and I know first-hand that if you are blind, it's nearly impossible to win a race. You can't see the line at the bottom of the pool to stay on course. You can't see the lane dividers. You can't see, period. 

So, Phelps would practice in the dark. He memorized approximately how many strokes it took to get from one end of the pool to the other. And he'd visualize these blind stokes every day before and after practices.

In 2008 during the Beijing Olympics, Michael Phelps's goggles filled with water when he dove into the pool during the 200m Butterfly. So he counted his strokes, and he finished the race blind. And he won gold.

OK, so now you're saying,

From Superbad

but I need you to just sit right back down and be patient because I'm about to drop some serious knowledge on you. 

Picture this:

I attended a rehearsal for a wedding I recently photographed, and during the entire run-through of the ceremony I noticed a family-member recording video on her iPhone. This normally wouldn't be an issue, but this guest in particular was way up in the bride and groom's personal space. I'm talking closely hovering around the couple and circling them like a hawk through the entire rehearsal. Had it been the actual wedding day, she would've been blocking the bride and groom in every. single. one. of my photos.

Not really the most romantic memories to have. I was hired to do a job, and something (in this case, someone) was literally standing in my way of success.

This could not happen on the next day during the wedding. But what was the most professional way to handle this? It's time to use the Phelps method. Or, as I like to refer to it:

W.W.M.P.D.? what would michael phelps do?

*This is a photo of me doing my job, no matter what the day throws at me. Photo by Victoria Gold Photography

So what WOULD Michael Phelps do to prepare for this? Would he risk insulting her by pulling her aside and kindly asking her to sit down? Is she the type of person to not listen, even if she was asked politely? 

It's not my job to tell someone they can't take their own photos during a loved one's wedding day (I can talk more about my opinions on "unplugged" weddings another day). But for all I knew at the time, if I didn't do something, it had great potential to interfere with my job and jeopardize the success of the wedding photos. 

So I decided I would sleep on it and before I went to sleep, I visualized it happening during the ceremony. And I came up with a game plan.

step one:  be aware of the potential issue and do what you can to prevent it from happening before anything actually happens.

Phelps practiced in the dark, so you should too (metaphorically). In  my situation, in an effort to stay professional and not insult any guests, I pulled the officiant aside on the day of the wedding before the ceremony and asked her to make a tiny announcement to guests as they take their seats : stay seated during the ceremony and to keep clear of the center aisle if they wanted to take a photo. I knew if I at LEAST had the aisle clear of guests, I'd get all the necessary photos for the bride and groom. And if they stayed seated, I'd have even more angles and opportunities for other photos, too.

Step Two: Figure out your damage control.

Say you do everything to prevent the dreaded thing from happening, and it still happens. What are you going to do?

Look, you can only control so much. You cannot control what other people do. But if you want to be a professional, you need to know how you are going to handle a tough situation when it's thrown at you. 

I thought, if worse comes to worse I could always maneuver or politely tap a shoulder to remind them there is a professional there that is paid to get "the shot." The worst case scenario would be physically pushing someone out of the way (which I have done and am not afraid to do. I'm watching you, Uncle Bob).

Fortunately, my prevention tactic worked. The officiant politely reminded everyone to stay clear of the aisle for the photographers, and everyone stayed seated. I even think the announcement reminded guests that they were there to witness and be included in photos! 

Step Three: be a total badass on the reg and don't be sorry about it.

You can apply this worst-case-scenario technique to anything: A big presentation. Asking your boss for a raise. Traveling somewhere new. Your wedding day. Visualize the possibilities of what could go wrong, think of ways to prevent it, and then think of your back up plan. E-mail your presentation file to yourself, just in case you forget the USB. Figure out where you'd need to go if you lost your passport abroad. Get a tent in case the weather predicts rain during your outdoor wedding day.

It's also an important practice to help face our fears. What is the worst-case scenario? Lose your job? Will you die?  (If you are likely to die, maybe it's not worth it to begin with).

What are some solutions or ways to avoid those possibilities? What's the back-up plan? 

And most importantly, even if things don't go according to any plan...

Until next week,

Casey

Photo Prop Recipe: Cotton Candy Wig + baroque backdrop DIY

Want to learn how to make a wig that looks good enough to eat? 

Here's how:

Wig Ingredients:

Styrofoam Head (to work on your wig)

Poly-Fil batting (crib size 45" x 60" roll)

Roving Wool in your choice of color (I chose light pink and light blue for cotton candy colors) or dye your own if you're feeling ambitious! I got about 1 lb total, but I had lots leftover. 16 oz should be plenty.

8-inch wreath base

Styrofoam Cone

T-pins

Spray adhesive

Optional: Candy, rhinestones, glitter, sprinkles, or any other accents you would like to add!

1. Take your batting and cut into 1 ft wide strips. Wrap your wreath base and cone in batting and secure with T-pins. Use the styrofoam head to test balance. The ring should rest on the crown of your head, not fit completely over your head. It's simply a base support the cone.

2. Once individual parts are wrapped with one layer of batting, use excess batting to wrap (like a towel on your head after the shower) from the base of the mannequin's head where it meets the neck up. Secure with T-pins until you have a cotton candy shaped base. The wig base should sit balanced on the mannequin's head at this point. If it doesn't adjust the placement of your wreath and re-wrap until wig stands on it's own.

3. Now it's time to start building! Use your spray adhesive to go over the base in sections as you swirl the roving wool (like a tornado) from the base of the wig to the top. Do not use spray adhesive like hairspray after it's wrapped or it will stay sticky and take away from the effect. Only use it to attach the wool to your poly-fill base.

4. To make the curls that frame the face, flatten a piece of wool and wrap around your finger. Pin the cylinder shaped curls with a T-pin to the wreath base.

Remember that cotton candy is wispy and fluffy! Play around with how much you can pull the wool apart, fluff whenever you place a new swirl, and make lots of layers. Play around with it! I had about 5 different versions of this made before I was totally satisfied by the way it looked.

Tip: Layering is key! A little roving wool can go a long way.

*BONUS TUTORIAL: Make a faux wall backdrop!*

Backdrop Ingredients:

Polystyrene sheet, cut in half so it's 2 4x4 sheets (or, if you want to do a full body portrait, leav it whole

Vintage Wallpaper (or, really, you can use whatever you want. paint it, go crazy. live your own truth.) I got the wallpaper pictured on Etsy.

Spray Adhesive

1. Both Sides of the Polystyrene should have a plastic film. Peel the shiny side off both halves.

2. Use your spray adhesive and evenly cover both the back of your wallpaper and the polystyrene side you just peeled off in step 1. It's important to cover both the back of the paper and the surface of the foam. Be patient while you're lining it up, you are able to peel and re-stick the paper at any time. No pressure.

You can see similar in-process photos for this technique on Oh Joy!

3. In order to replicate the lighting setup of my photo above, I used ONLY natural light. I sat next to a window like so (my body double, Abu, is standing in for me here):

fancy studio, huh?

Now, if you can have a friend help you take the photo, that helps a lot. Otherwise I set up a tripod and used a remote shutter to take the photos (I pressed the shutter with my toe!).

PS Don't forget to have fun with the makeup, too!

Please let me know if you have any questions! Have fun and make this your own! 

xo,

Casey

*This project was inspired by Marie Antoinette, Sue Bryce's ethereal studio work, and the great Cindy Sherman. Thanks for all the inspiration, ladies.*